Suddenly, a tiny beautiful fairy appeared on their table.   She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for loving each other so well all of these years, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my wonderful husband.
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this tale is – be careful what you wish for…..and remember fairies are always female!!!

Family Finances

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he had ever seen.

But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.  Finally the repairman could contain himself NO longer and yelled, ‘Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!’  To which the parrot replied, ‘Get him Spike!’

See – Men just don’t listen! Dog Gone Debt

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike – when the mechanic shouted across the garage,  “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”  The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,

“So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take out the valves, repair any damage, then put it all back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.  So how come I make a pretty small salary – and you get the big bucks – when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic…
“Try doing it with the engine running.”

Looking for Work from home?  More Money? Dog Gone Debt

What did one saggy boob said to the other saggy boob?  ‘If we don’t get some support here soon, we’ll be looking at Our belly button.’

No laughing matter – Did you Know? Refinancing your mortgage, even at lower rates may not benefit you!  Contact me – Melanie Hanni to learn more.        Dog Gone Debt

9.     Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.

8.     Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

7.     When someone says “have a nice day,” tell them you have other plans.

6.     Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

5.     Dance naked in front of your pets.

4.     Put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.

3.     Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

2.     Tape pictures of the boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.

1.      Pay your electric bill in pennies.

www.jokes2go.com

What is Debt? – no laughing matter

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it!  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.  They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.  She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realize why.  It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minute later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The Sergeant to who she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed. Moral of the story?  If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable.

Getting Out of Debt

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

‘Doctor,’ the man said, ‘I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair.  She can’t possibly be mine!!’

‘Nonsense,’ the doctor said ‘Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.’

‘It isn’t possible,‘ the man insisted.  This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.’

‘Well,’ said the doctor, ‘let me ask you this. How often do you have sex???’

The man seemed a bit ashamed. ‘I’ve been working very hard for the past year.  We only made love once or twice every few months.’

‘Well, there you have it!’  The doctor said confidently.   ‘It’s rust.’

Children Nutrition – Natural Vitamin  Supplements

Dog Gone Debt Cures